-When danger rears its ugly head, roll up into a ball.

-You can never have enough spines.

-Eating mud is good for you.

-Throw your shed body parts all over the place with wild abandon.

-If you know you’re going to get buried alive call over some friends and have a party.

-Watch out for bottom feeding fish.

-Evolve many bizarre forms.

-Coral is not a plaything.

-Don’t run while carrying a pointed cephalopod (unless you’re a blind trilobite.)

-Eat lots of calcium.

-Make the pilgrimage to the Burgess Shale site at least once in your life.

-Leave pretty cruzianas where ever you go.

-Don’t talk to scorpions.

-When invited to a friend’s burrow for dinner, bring a bouquet of graptolites.

-You’re never too old to act like a meraspid.

-Wiggle your pygidium when you walk.

-Be kind to crinoids.

-Turn the other free cheek.

-Don’t get a swell cephalon.

-If the calender reads “Permian” have fun NOW because extinction is forever.

-Size does matter.

-Enjoy the Ordovician while it lasts.

-Don’t talk with your hypostome full.

-Die intact and leave a good looking fossil.

Robert Sensenstein